Inception: A Smart movie for Stupid People

Do you ever dream something so completely, you even remember (or think you remember) the words written in a note within the dream? You could smell the fresh cut summer grass, or hear the thunder rumbling in the distance...as if it was slowly creeping up on you? After this epic dream, which included a fabulous car chase, a zero gravity fist fight- and the longest plunge from a bridge in recent memory, did you wake to find that you couldn't quite remember the intricacies of the plot-but you know that you understood it as you watched it?

If you did just that, then you have just seen the movie "Inception." The latest from Christopher Nolan, the man behind the "Dark Knight" as well as "The Prestige," this 190 million dollar love child delivers on every level. (Hey, if you just made approx 533 million with "The Dark Knight" you would be able to do your dream project at Warner's too.)

The story centers on Leonardo DiCaprio who stars as Dom Cobb who is a thief with a very particular set of skills. Who invades people's minds and steals ideas fro them. Sometimes these ideas are worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and from the way he has talked about it may have changed history. The way he accomplishes this is by creating a dream that he inserts the subject into...then he and his team steal the idea.

This time around he is hired to plant an idea in someone's head, quite a different proposition than just stealing ideas. This is known as "Inception." Cobb surrounds himself with a team of people who all have specific skills, such as Ellen Page who plays Ariadne, or "The Architect" of the dreams. Arthur is played by Joseph Gordon Levitt, and he is the mercenary-type..the muscle within the dreams. They hire a person who can imitate other people within dreams named Eames. All of these people play a part in a heist to plant an idea into a young industrialist's head after his father's death. The monkey wrench in the whole thing is that this will be Cobb's last job--if he completes this he will be able to return home and see his children. He also is wrestling with his past in the form of his wife, who is no longer alive. She invades the dreams and causes problems throughout the movie.

Suffice it to say that this is a hard movie to describe...but there is really no need to, as all you have to do is sit through it to understand the intent and intricacies of the plot. The story and pacing are spot-on...just when you are ready to move on, the story moves forward, and never once did I find any of the explanations of how the team was to work inside the dream world as boring or contrived. To top it all off, the performances by each of the actors is fantastic. There is a reason why Leo is a leading man, and he demonstrates it in this film very well. The set design is fantastic, and the set-pieces are very well done...a zero g fist fight being a highlight.

The subtlety of the music cannot be emphasized enough in this movie either. Hans Zimmer is hit or miss for me, but in this film he nails it perfectly. The music captures the right blend of urgency drama and use of technology and as such becomes an integral part of the film.

If you want to be challenged by a movie, this is the one. If you want to go and turn off your brain, then you might want to avoid this one...but still...the themes and mechanics are explained in such a manner that you can understand them within the context of the film. Just don't ask me to describe any specifics about it...as I don't even really remember how I got here......Where is my totem?

Predators. Or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Adrien Brody's Nose

The most amazing thing about the movie "Predators" is Adrien Brody's nose. It seems to have taken on a life of it's own in the film. Oh sure, the movie is interesting enough, but I can't......stop......watching......Adrien Brody's Nose.

The film opens in a clever manner as we meet Brody's character "Royce." He is falling through the sky at an alarming speed. He has been jettisoned out of an airplane and has to figure out how to open his chute. It is a rather tense opening to what is otherwise a lackluster film that plods along from set piece to set piece. For the first thirty seconds I mused whether or not his nose whistled with all of the air rushing past it-much like a bottle would if you held it outside of a car window at just the right angle as you drive. Then he opened his chute and that thought was interrupted. It would have happily entertained me for the next hour and twenty minutes.

Once on the ground, we learn that he is not the only one who has been dropped into this situation as he soon meets an ex-Chechnyan freedom fighter, and African tribesman and Danny Trejo. Oh, don't forget the convict, the hot sniper chick, the obligatory Yakuza and Topher Grace. Soon enough they figure out that they must work together to survive, putting aside all of their differences as they walk through a few poor set pieces to get to the real star of the movie: William Shatner---I mean Laurence Fishburne. He plays a scavenger who has apparently lived on the planet for several years...who talks like William Shatner...and looks like William Shatner.

Inexplicably, the seasoned scavenger falls prey to a Predator by being loud...and the bad set pieces continue....until one of the most badass moments of badassery in film history happens. The Yakuza ends up with a Samurai sword and fights a Predator. Yes, Samurai Vs. Predator. I don't care what any of you say, the image of a Japanese guy with a Samurai sword facing off against a Predator is one of the most incredibly awesome things I have ever seen. Was the fight memorable? No. Was the movie memorable? Not particularly....but that fight was just too cheesy cool for words.

After that, it was a haze of images and gunfire 'til Royce (who turns out to be a Mercenary, and conveniently grows a heart to save the hot Spanish chick) covers himself in mud and defeats the final Predator. Most of the time I just couldn't stop staring at Brody's nose...it was amazing...it was firing weapons, speaking dialogue...doing everything a normal nose can't.

So, to sum up "Predators" in a few lines: It was "The Most Dangerous Game" with Predators and Adrien Brody's nose-with a cameo by Laurence Fishburne doing a William Shatner impression, followed by a Samurai fighting a Predator.
It was an excellent bad movie.
What do you expect from a Director named Nimrod Antal?

Twilight = Brainwashing for Young Teen Girls and Lonely Middle-Aged Women

Okay, I don't rant much on this blog...I try and keep it relatively simple and interesting. But here goes for the first entry of GEEK DAD: THAT REALLY GRINDS MY PROJECTOR'S GEARS.

Twilight. International phenomenon? Or International co-dependence?

I am so thankful that I have a wife that does not like any of Stephanie Myer's books. I am very lucky to have a wife that has more than half a brain in her head when it comes to relationships and being married. If there was ever a chance in hell that my wife became a Twilight fan, or "Twaggot" as I shall refer to them from here on out, then this would be grounds for divorce. I married a woman who does not need to depend on me for anything other than what our relationship is based on: Love, Trust and companionship. Both of us would survive if we did not have these things, but fortunately we do-and we remain a strong couple due to our vast differences and many shared common values. Twilight does not have any of these things. The main character, Bella Swan (I think someone likes the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies) is the total antithesis of what teenage girls should use as a role model.

Bella arrives in a small municipality (read: town. Another reason that Meyers is a terrible writer...she writes straight out of a thesaurus. Good writing should be short and to the point. We learned that in our Mormon Middle School in 6th grade) and starts her first year of high school. Inexplicably she is stalked by several boys at the school, which is apparently new to her. WHICH, UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE PAM ANDERSON, WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. Then all of a sudden she is visited in her sleep by a vampire who is attracted to the scent of her blood rather than her personality...which is the ONLY thing I don't have a problem with. Apparently this Vampire is a "Vegetarian" and sparkles in the daylight. Yeah, I said Daylight. These guys can walk around during the day without bursting into flames. Soon she falls in love with him, and through several trials and near death tribulations involving other vampires from other clans, becomes more and more dependent on Edward (the vamp) for her survival. So...let's backtrack...he watches her in her sleep...that should be disturbing to any teen girl if anyone watches them in their sleep. But Bella is different-she loves the attention that she receives from Edward. By the end of the first book she would rather forgo any sign of independence...such as attending college, moving out and living on her own, getting her own health insurance-going to the local coffee shop by herself, e.t.c. Eventually (I have not read further than the first five chapters of book one) Edward knocks her up, further making her dependent on him for support-and she might die because she is mortal. Ridiculous, eh? So I ask--should teen girls look to her as a heroine? Sure...if they are twelve years old and don't know how the world works yet. But unfortunately, most of the fans are older than twelve...and this is where it gets really disturbing.

CougarTwaggots. That's right. Middle-Aged women who seek out men like Edward because they are perfect and they will be "taken care of." Most of these women don't have enough courage to face life after their divorce, their first child, their second divorce, their second child...their affair with the tall dark and handsome twentysomething poolboy and then their third marriage when they "settle" for someone to take care of them. Now it's sad that these women have such lonely lives and unfulfilled dreams. Hell, I'd love to have had a chance to date Bettie Page--who was a load of insecurities and mental problems herself, but I won't ever get to do that. Instead I found someone who challenges me. Someone who doesn't let me off the hook...someone who isn't afraid to scrap with me, and most of all someone who isn't dependent on me. For all those reasons (which sometimes can be the hard times in a marriage) I am grateful for my wife. There are a plethora of other reasons that make our marriage great, too many to list here-suffice it to say, EVERYONE ARGUES. EVERYONE GROWS AND CHANGES. And most of all, NO ONE IS PERFECT: I.E> A FREAKING SHINY VAMPIRE THAT LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY NO MATTER WHAT.

What do I say to the Twaggots out there? Read "The Golden Compass" by Phillip Pullman. (OMG, It's anti-religion and hates God. Get over it...it's a book. It's got talking polar bears in it for Christ's sake.) This book features a brilliantly written female lead character named Lyra Belacqua. She grows. She changes. She makes mistakes....and through learning to live with someone, she knows love. And she knows what it is like when love is lost.

Now, the disclaimer: I am not Female. I am not a fan of Twilight. I have not read more than five chapters of the first book. I understand that "Twilight" is a work of fiction, and therefore it is interpreted as such by MOST people who read it. But it's those few people that take it to heart that overshadow all of the common sense readers that read it. I think most girls who read it understand that it is essentially a Danielle Steele novel with Vampires. The ones who don't understand that are what give Twaggots the aforementioned name.

GET OVER YOURSELVES. GROW UP. BE A WOMAN, NOT A WHINY BITCH WHO FEELS ENTITLED TO A PERFECT MAN.

And that's what really Grinds my Projector's Gears.

DETOX

This geek Dad has gone to extremes in the past few months. I have gone form being a fairly independent and self aware person who was not a father, to a dribbling insecure non-sensical person who is a father. That all has to change at some point, and earlier I had posted that I am trying to change my geek outlook on life.

Well friends, the main issue that I have danced around for several months finally came up and slapped me and my wife in the face: my compulsion (possibly addiction) to playing video games. I know, I know....John quitting gaming?!? *GASP* Before you all freak out...it is more of a moratorium on gaming until this November. I really have to find other things to focus on, such as my family. Let's just say that gaming became a very big budgetary issue, and quite frankly...my family needs a budget. We HAVE to provide for a new little one, and I was doing my best to try and preserve my wants and...well wants, while not contributing to any other needs that this family has.

So what steps have I taken?

1.) I no longer own an Xbox 360. I pawned it. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. As if to underscore my mood and sadness, as I was pawning my Xbox, a thunderstorm formed overhead and torrential rain fell for the time I was inside the building pawning the damn thing. As I emerged from the mall, what greeted me was roiling clouds and a clap of thunder mixed with the sweet smell of freshly fallen rain and P.F. Chang's. I think that is very poetic--in a new outlook on gaming sort of way.

2.) I pawned (almost) all of my games along with my console. I kept a few (Red Dead Redemption being one of them) so I can possibly play in the future.

3.) I have to find something to replace the hole (and yes it is a hole) that gaming has made in me. I used to look for any opportunity to turn on that damn box and play...going so far as to stay up past everyone's bedtime to play into the wee hours of the morning. So...since I have weight issues as well as slight rage issues (I get angry really REALLY easily...you wouldn't like me when I am angry); I have decided to take some form of martial arts. It will force me to focus on something, and it will be a structured environment that I can work with other people in so that I can become more healthy and mentally centered.

Thus the Detox has begun. I have allowed myself a few concessions: WE still have a PS3 in the house, so I will allow myself to play games that I already have...which amount to the two Uncharted games and MLB the show 09....but I am not allowed to purchase any games until November. I have also canceled my gamefly account....and Netflix....so I will be forced to find a way to entertain myself to some degree. Perhaps I can help out with a certain pod cast more now.....

DETOX.

Used Cartoonists and Helmsmen

Recently I have had very good luck finding "used" autographs of a few celebrities. How does one do this, you may ask?

You must haunt the hallowed halls of musty used book stores with the tenacity of a man who wished the world would end so that he would not be disturbed during his reading...

It is actually as if you stumbled upon a small hidden treasure that no one else seemed to notice. My case in point: Recently when awaiting a large payout for a large amount of DVDs that we no longer watch, I sauntered over to the Entertainment section in our local Half-Price Book store. While perusing the wares (Copies of "Roger Ebert's Movies" and Howard Stern's "Private Parts" and "Miss America" caught my eye mostly) I noticed a very clean spine that didn't look too beat up. The title was "To the Stars: The Autobiography of George Takei, Star Trek's Mr. Sulu." I was instantly intrigued as I had heard George Takei speak about his book...at length...during the many appearances on the Howard Stern Show. I thumbed open the book, and there smack dab on the front page was his autograph! It read "To Ben, All the Best George Takei." My heart skipped a beat for a moment, as I thought that there would instantly be a hundred people who would want to purchase the book just on the fact that he had touched it at some point....like Gollum I cradled my preciousssss close to my chest as I awaited the keeper of the sales to announce whether or not I would get a decent amount of money for the crate of merch I had just brought in. I then realized that I must be a truly paranoid person... how many people who aren't Star Trek fans, let alone fans of George Takei would be in the store at that very moment thinking "Gee, I wonder if they have an autographed copy of his memoirs lying around?"

Not only was I lucky with Mr. Sulu turning up in the store, but a few months back I was able to snag Berke Breathed's signature as well. For those of you who are not "in the know," he did a little comic strip called "Bloom County" back in the eighties and another strip called "Outland" in the nineties. It on a copy of a children s' book he had written entitled "Mars Needs Moms."

I just feel rather fortunate to have a piece of Takei in my home now. Years ago, way back in 1987 or 88, George Takei came here to Lexington to a Star Trek convention. As part of the convention he appeared at a run-down video store in Eastland shopping center to promote the release of "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" on VHS. I have a very cold and distinct memory of my father and I waiting in line at that place in the cold to meet "Some guy from Star Trek" and get a movie. I was ushered in (I guess I was 5 or 6 at the time) and brought before Mr. Sulu and couldn't have been met by a more friendly and accommodating guy. I didn't really know who he was and he explained who he was and taught me the vulcan salute. Somewhere in the great beyond there is a picture of George Takei teaching me the Vulcan salute, and I wish I still had it. I have a fond memory of that afternoon and I am glad that I have his autograph once again. Sorry Ben, you missed out.

A New Balance With the Force

So I have been adjusting to being a father lately. It is the hardest thing that I have ever done. It has not been easy, but so far even though there have been bumps and beeps and boops along the way it has been totally worth it.

It has caused me to re-evaluate what I can and can not do with my free time, and that has been the part that has been so hard for me to deal with. Luckily, I have the best wife ever, and I love her dearly for being so patient and loving toward both me and our son.

Eli is growing like a weed, and as he gains new skills (like almost being able to support his own head weight, recognizing objects and learning that he can interact with them as well as precise motor control) it makes me want to help him along the way all the more. We have had problems learning when night is day and day is night, but his sleeping patterns have slowly gotten better. That means that Mom and Dad have been getting bits more sleep when we can and however we can. He is already growing out of 3 month old clothes, and he is only one and a half months old...he is a regular hosscat! He is starting to recognize that there are different times that he goes through each day, like wake up time, lunch time, play time, belly time and so forth. I am amazed at how much he has learned and how fast he is growing.

Anyway, back to the original reason why I am posting today: I have to find my new balance with The Force. I am learning how to manipulate it to certain degree, but to no lengths that Luke ever did (lest you think I am mad, I am using this as a metaphor). I have found that if I re-evaluate the way I think about how I feel and that I can control that...that gives me power. I have been given the advice recently that I am a very stubborn person. Thus I have transferred my stubbornness to becoming frustrated....I will simply CHOOSE to be more stubborn than my frustration, thus it will not be a factor in how I deal with daily things in my life. Through this maxim alone I have gained incredible patience with things that before hand I would find infuriating. It is only the first step, however. There is a long way to go and I am looking forward to going to therapy to help me deal with that.

Apart from this craziness that I am going through, I have no real nerd news to report. Oh only this:

That's right. That's Princess Leia. Friends over at ORCCA CAST managed to snag Carrie Fisher's autograph at the recent C2E2 convention. It is the greatest thing ever. Now all I have to do is manage to get Mark Hamill's autograph and I will be a happy man. (That plus the three other Ghostbusters that aren't Winston.) I know that I don't have too many readers, but this will hopefully be the last introspective post that I make for awhile. I hope that I can add to the nerdery in the near future. I have an idea for a post about my son's toys that he can't even play with at the moment....

Excuse me while I Re-invent myself...

Okay, I know that I have not posted anything in a long while. I fully intend to...I just have taken the past few weeks to get used to having Baby Eli in my life. Understandably, it has been an interesting time for me. It has been the hardest thing that I have ever done. I have to thank my wife for standing by me and being there for me when I thought I would be on my own emotionally again. That just makes me love her all the more.

As far as myself goes, well...this Geek Dad needs some therapy. No, really. I am going to start attending some sort of Cognitive behavioral therapy in the near future. I need to learn how to deal with some of the very strong emotions that have been released the last few months...and I need to do it without putting stress on other people.

So what does this mean? It means that I may not be posting as regularly as I would like to online. I shall continue to do so in one form or another. I also would like to apologize because some of the content may be a little awkward and strange, but it will be entertaining in the very least!!!

So...bear with me. More will be coming soon. GO CHECK OUT ORCCA CAST WHILE YOU WAIT!!!

Lost in Sleep

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

I haven't been able to post very much recently as the family has been adjusting to the arrival of Eli to the homestead.

One thing has to be said: I am proud to be a father, but it is starting to get hard to balance my life with his. Now, before everyone goes and gets upset because I am whining about some sort of "loss of independence," I have to say a few things.

1. I am proud to be a father.
2. It has made the days longer as well as the nights, but that just means I have an excuse to stay awake and watch Lord of the Rings with my son. (You'll get it eventually.)
3. Balancing jobs and worrying about what is happening at home is extremely difficult. I go to work and just wish I was at home so I could help out--and to some degree when I am at home I worry about work.

Now on to the whiny bit: It is hard to balance what I want to do with what needs to be done. I didn't realize how much of my life was frivolously spent playing video games and doing silly nerd things. As of now however, it is even hard to find time to look for a job let alone get a few quests in on WoW. I suppose it is all relative, I don't need to do all the things I used to do...but like a finely cut cocaine, some of the things that I like to do are hard to cut back on. (I.E. GAMING.)

All in all things are going well...I wouldn't trade the sleepless nights...okay maybe one of them...for anything else in the world now. I feel compelled to meet all of his needs even though I don't understand what all of his needs are. (Which are few at the moment...but it's hard to read a baby's mind.)

Plus, Mom is helping Dad out as well. She is the bedrock and the guidance which I need to help out as much as I can in the house and with Eli. I am very lucky to have her. (Plus she looks bangin' for having given birth only two weeks ago.)

For now...Geek Dad out. Perhaps I will have a true geek post here in the next few days.

The Blog of Eli.

So, this past Saturday I was learning how to put together a Graco Pack 'n Play. Between 4 people and three degrees between us, you'd think that it would be a quick easy and painless affair. Not so.
The instruction manual was in three different languages-very hepful to the international community, but rather confusing to us who need one language.

Insert Rod A into Hole B.

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN SPANISH)

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN FRENCH)

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN GERMAN)

Only after the four different languages was there a diagram of what that particular step was supposed to look like, and even then the diagram was a tiny picture that was extremely unclear. Eventually we threw the instruction booklet to the side and began inserting all the rods into various holes until the said play-pen was assembled. We all joked at how long it took us to complete it and that we had a few weeks before we actually had to use it.

That night Eli was born. At 1:59 a.m. my life changed as I knew it. Now, I realize that as cliched as these moments sound, the actual birth was nothing like I expected. It was loud and intimidating, and stressful...and I was worried sick about my wife who had been stuck with an epidural and was just as scared as I was. Both she and I were in a room filled with professionals there to do their jobs, and do it they did. In less than 5 minutes, Eli was born. I was speechless...but what made it incredible was the fact that my wife and her mother (who was allowed to accompany us in the OR) made the most interesting and beautiful sounds as Eli came out. (For those of you wondering, he emerged from his C-section incision, took a breath of air and promptly let out a screech so loud as to let the whole hospital know he was here...then he peed on the doctors.) At this point I am silent...listening to the unbridled joy that was my wife and mother-in-law. It was as if there was no way for them to verbalize the joy...it sounded as if they were both riding "The Racer" at King's Island...experiences the speed and dips and plunges of the track...but they weren't. They instantly loved him. While I was trying to figure out what they sounded like I was literally dragged over to the cleaning table with Eli on it and told by an attendant to "touch him, he;s your son." I timidly reached down and touched his chest which was very hot and warm. Then I knew how Amy and Marsha felt...I knew why they made those noises...I just cried.

It was emotional. I can't write it out. I didn't know him for nine months, then in an instant I loved him. That was my true introduction to fatherhood. Now...on to becoming a father...

Which I am...but I am still learning. The first two nights were interesting...no sleep was had by anyone...and we had the most trouble getting him to learn how to breastfeed. Sleepless nights (which I am writing through right now) are now to be expected, but I have learned something un-expected from all of this.

Throughout the advice given by family members, Lactation Consultants, Doctors, friends....one thing remains true: Whatever instructions you are given are not set in stone. There is no one way to raise a child...so "Inserting Rod A into Hole B" (even though that's how we got into this mess) may not be the ONLY way to do things. It doesn't take degrees. It doesn't necessarily take experience...it just takes time to learn how to raise a child. It also takes the love and support of a wonderful wife, as well as a wonderful family. I already have thought ahead to taking Eli to King's Island for the first time. Baseball, movies....but even through thinking of that...you take it one step at a time...and you always listen to what others say. But most of all, you do what you think needs to be done to help Eli above everyone else. The only instruction manual you need is the one you figure out. And boy oh boy, are we figuring it out.

Amazing News that effects Geek Dad's life greatly!

There is a new Iron Man 2 Trailer that has been released!



Oh, and my own little Tony Stark was born on March 7th at 1:59 a.m.!!!

Elijah is here!

A more well thought out post to come soon!

Clean Your Own Damn Bowl!

A friend related a story to me about the last days of her pregnancy that seems to apply to me. She was days away from giving birth, and up tot his time her husband had been a saint. He had been cooking and cleaning and helping her as much as possible, in every way imaginable. One morning she asked for oatmeal for breakfast (the usual order), and after finishing her oatmeal she handed the bowl to the husband and politely asked him to clean it. There was fire in his eyes, and a sudden chord was struck and an epic battle followed. (Insert "Duel of the Fates" here.) Dishes were thrown, words were exchanged, chests heaved with the efforts of yelling at one another. Eventually the fight died down, and things returned to normal. While regrouping and figuring out why they were both fighting over a dirty bowl, the husband confessed that he felt as though he was losing a little independence as the due date inched closer and he was asserting himself by not washing the bowl. The last gasp of a rebel without a cause.

Apparently I am currently in the throes of "not washing the bowl" for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not refusing to help my wife with daily chores or anything- I am just filling my free time with the things that I like to do the most. And that is gaming and watching movies. Those two things are my golf. To be honest I am very nervous and worked up about Eli's birth, so I am compensating. When I am not doing something I am literally counting the hours until he gets here-waiting til I have to be "on" and ready to be Dad. And I know now that I am ready for it. I need him to be here, for my sake and Amy's sake....things are now uncomfortable for her and I am rather helpless to do anything but give her a hand (literally) to help her stand up. So here we are....waiting for him to be here. Waiting to go on a grand adventure. Waiting. ("The Waiting is the Hardest Part") So until then....I will play Star Trek Online. And I will clean the catbox. And I will drink (when applicable). I will do dishes, and cook dinner.

But I also will wash the bowl the only way I know how: by blowing up Klingons.

What not to do as a Geek Dad. (As taught to me by Star Wars and Indiana Jones)

I have been told repeatedly, and by several people that there are several things that I SHOULD NOT do when raising a child. Most of those things are not essential. The most notable thing someone told me was: "Don't get him vaccinated on a Friday, that is when the Hospitals use the bad shipments of vaccines."

Now, I am a very clear headed person. Until someone gives me advice that is truly good advice, I will adhere to the following things that I have learned about parenting from Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

1.) Don't ever go into politics with your father. As we see in "The Empire Strikes Back," Vader attempts to recruit his son Luke into "ruling the galaxy as father and son." There are several reasons why this is a bad idea. The most notable being that we have recently experienced the results of this very experiment for the past eight years here in the United States with the Bush family. Not just George W. and George H. but with Jeb as well. This was a veritable triumvirate of family power that led this nation into an economic depression, as well as at least one or two grammatical SNAFUs. ("Pototoes" and "Ffolks" aside.) If you look in past history this didn't work out too well, either. The Roman Empire as well as the British Monarchy were plagued with familial squabbles and murders. Hopefully we can avoid those in our family.

2.) Do not allow yourself to be seduced by any Austrian spies. Demonstrated by Professor Henry Jones and Professor Henry Jones Jr. in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," this is kind of an easy one to avoid. But trust me....just don't let yourself get caught in that kind of situation--it is awkward whether or not you are tied together in two chairs during a fire. "She talks in her sleep" should be in reference to Mom only.

3.) Don't EVER let your child go to the Tosche station to pick up power converters. They can waste time with their friends when the chores are done. It's as simple as that.

4.) Don't ever ask your son if he knows how to fly an airplane. This will invariably result in an awkward dogfight with an Messerschmidt and a crash landing on a Tunisian guys' goat farm. Just assume that he does know how to fly (he must know something...he's sitting at the controls...) and maybe you can avoid these unpleasant types of crash landings.

5.) And last, but most definitely not least, the one piece of advice that I think deep down in their heart every parent knows, DO NOT let your child turn to the dark side. As demonstrated by Vader in ROTJ, if you believe in your kid then anything is possible. Even the redemption of yourself through them.

So there it is. Those are the core things I am going to try to remember/pass on/live as I help my child grow and change. I must note, that all of this is being said without him actually arriving yet, so these priorities may change a little bit.

The first of many things to come....

Hello. I have tried blogging before, but with little to no success. Thus, since I am entering into an interesting new phase of life (fatherhood) which previously I thought would not be possible, I thought that I should chronicle the events of a Geek Dad. The trials and tribulations of a first time father balancing his life, love and child with his desire to experience several things that are geeky.

First off, I must say that my son has not yet been born. He will be arriving soon enough, however. March 22nd is the magic day, and earlier if he doesn't cooperate (a genetic trait that I could quite possibly be responsible for). I thought that I should fire this thing up before the event happens and try and record some thoughts on what I think fatherhood will be like. As for now, I am prepared for the sleepless nights as I don't sleep well already, but beyond that I have no clue. I haven't changed a diaper in years, and I am looking for a full time job to help support this family. So, for any of you people who live in the IT world and need a help desk clerk/cable layer/office gopher, don't hesitate to contact me.

I started this particular post with no direction, and I think that I should end it as such, as I am writing this slightly drunk and very tired. So, for now Adieu.