Lost in Sleep

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

I haven't been able to post very much recently as the family has been adjusting to the arrival of Eli to the homestead.

One thing has to be said: I am proud to be a father, but it is starting to get hard to balance my life with his. Now, before everyone goes and gets upset because I am whining about some sort of "loss of independence," I have to say a few things.

1. I am proud to be a father.
2. It has made the days longer as well as the nights, but that just means I have an excuse to stay awake and watch Lord of the Rings with my son. (You'll get it eventually.)
3. Balancing jobs and worrying about what is happening at home is extremely difficult. I go to work and just wish I was at home so I could help out--and to some degree when I am at home I worry about work.

Now on to the whiny bit: It is hard to balance what I want to do with what needs to be done. I didn't realize how much of my life was frivolously spent playing video games and doing silly nerd things. As of now however, it is even hard to find time to look for a job let alone get a few quests in on WoW. I suppose it is all relative, I don't need to do all the things I used to do...but like a finely cut cocaine, some of the things that I like to do are hard to cut back on. (I.E. GAMING.)

All in all things are going well...I wouldn't trade the sleepless nights...okay maybe one of them...for anything else in the world now. I feel compelled to meet all of his needs even though I don't understand what all of his needs are. (Which are few at the moment...but it's hard to read a baby's mind.)

Plus, Mom is helping Dad out as well. She is the bedrock and the guidance which I need to help out as much as I can in the house and with Eli. I am very lucky to have her. (Plus she looks bangin' for having given birth only two weeks ago.)

For now...Geek Dad out. Perhaps I will have a true geek post here in the next few days.

The Blog of Eli.

So, this past Saturday I was learning how to put together a Graco Pack 'n Play. Between 4 people and three degrees between us, you'd think that it would be a quick easy and painless affair. Not so.
The instruction manual was in three different languages-very hepful to the international community, but rather confusing to us who need one language.

Insert Rod A into Hole B.

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN SPANISH)

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN FRENCH)

(INSERT ROD A INTO HOLE B IN GERMAN)

Only after the four different languages was there a diagram of what that particular step was supposed to look like, and even then the diagram was a tiny picture that was extremely unclear. Eventually we threw the instruction booklet to the side and began inserting all the rods into various holes until the said play-pen was assembled. We all joked at how long it took us to complete it and that we had a few weeks before we actually had to use it.

That night Eli was born. At 1:59 a.m. my life changed as I knew it. Now, I realize that as cliched as these moments sound, the actual birth was nothing like I expected. It was loud and intimidating, and stressful...and I was worried sick about my wife who had been stuck with an epidural and was just as scared as I was. Both she and I were in a room filled with professionals there to do their jobs, and do it they did. In less than 5 minutes, Eli was born. I was speechless...but what made it incredible was the fact that my wife and her mother (who was allowed to accompany us in the OR) made the most interesting and beautiful sounds as Eli came out. (For those of you wondering, he emerged from his C-section incision, took a breath of air and promptly let out a screech so loud as to let the whole hospital know he was here...then he peed on the doctors.) At this point I am silent...listening to the unbridled joy that was my wife and mother-in-law. It was as if there was no way for them to verbalize the joy...it sounded as if they were both riding "The Racer" at King's Island...experiences the speed and dips and plunges of the track...but they weren't. They instantly loved him. While I was trying to figure out what they sounded like I was literally dragged over to the cleaning table with Eli on it and told by an attendant to "touch him, he;s your son." I timidly reached down and touched his chest which was very hot and warm. Then I knew how Amy and Marsha felt...I knew why they made those noises...I just cried.

It was emotional. I can't write it out. I didn't know him for nine months, then in an instant I loved him. That was my true introduction to fatherhood. Now...on to becoming a father...

Which I am...but I am still learning. The first two nights were interesting...no sleep was had by anyone...and we had the most trouble getting him to learn how to breastfeed. Sleepless nights (which I am writing through right now) are now to be expected, but I have learned something un-expected from all of this.

Throughout the advice given by family members, Lactation Consultants, Doctors, friends....one thing remains true: Whatever instructions you are given are not set in stone. There is no one way to raise a child...so "Inserting Rod A into Hole B" (even though that's how we got into this mess) may not be the ONLY way to do things. It doesn't take degrees. It doesn't necessarily take experience...it just takes time to learn how to raise a child. It also takes the love and support of a wonderful wife, as well as a wonderful family. I already have thought ahead to taking Eli to King's Island for the first time. Baseball, movies....but even through thinking of that...you take it one step at a time...and you always listen to what others say. But most of all, you do what you think needs to be done to help Eli above everyone else. The only instruction manual you need is the one you figure out. And boy oh boy, are we figuring it out.

Amazing News that effects Geek Dad's life greatly!

There is a new Iron Man 2 Trailer that has been released!



Oh, and my own little Tony Stark was born on March 7th at 1:59 a.m.!!!

Elijah is here!

A more well thought out post to come soon!

Clean Your Own Damn Bowl!

A friend related a story to me about the last days of her pregnancy that seems to apply to me. She was days away from giving birth, and up tot his time her husband had been a saint. He had been cooking and cleaning and helping her as much as possible, in every way imaginable. One morning she asked for oatmeal for breakfast (the usual order), and after finishing her oatmeal she handed the bowl to the husband and politely asked him to clean it. There was fire in his eyes, and a sudden chord was struck and an epic battle followed. (Insert "Duel of the Fates" here.) Dishes were thrown, words were exchanged, chests heaved with the efforts of yelling at one another. Eventually the fight died down, and things returned to normal. While regrouping and figuring out why they were both fighting over a dirty bowl, the husband confessed that he felt as though he was losing a little independence as the due date inched closer and he was asserting himself by not washing the bowl. The last gasp of a rebel without a cause.

Apparently I am currently in the throes of "not washing the bowl" for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not refusing to help my wife with daily chores or anything- I am just filling my free time with the things that I like to do the most. And that is gaming and watching movies. Those two things are my golf. To be honest I am very nervous and worked up about Eli's birth, so I am compensating. When I am not doing something I am literally counting the hours until he gets here-waiting til I have to be "on" and ready to be Dad. And I know now that I am ready for it. I need him to be here, for my sake and Amy's sake....things are now uncomfortable for her and I am rather helpless to do anything but give her a hand (literally) to help her stand up. So here we are....waiting for him to be here. Waiting to go on a grand adventure. Waiting. ("The Waiting is the Hardest Part") So until then....I will play Star Trek Online. And I will clean the catbox. And I will drink (when applicable). I will do dishes, and cook dinner.

But I also will wash the bowl the only way I know how: by blowing up Klingons.