The most amazing thing about the movie "Predators" is Adrien Brody's nose. It seems to have taken on a life of it's own in the film. Oh sure, the movie is interesting enough, but I can't......stop......watching......Adrien Brody's Nose.
The film opens in a clever manner as we meet Brody's character "Royce." He is falling through the sky at an alarming speed. He has been jettisoned out of an airplane and has to figure out how to open his chute. It is a rather tense opening to what is otherwise a lackluster film that plods along from set piece to set piece. For the first thirty seconds I mused whether or not his nose whistled with all of the air rushing past it-much like a bottle would if you held it outside of a car window at just the right angle as you drive. Then he opened his chute and that thought was interrupted. It would have happily entertained me for the next hour and twenty minutes.
Once on the ground, we learn that he is not the only one who has been dropped into this situation as he soon meets an ex-Chechnyan freedom fighter, and African tribesman and Danny Trejo. Oh, don't forget the convict, the hot sniper chick, the obligatory Yakuza and Topher Grace. Soon enough they figure out that they must work together to survive, putting aside all of their differences as they walk through a few poor set pieces to get to the real star of the movie: William Shatner---I mean Laurence Fishburne. He plays a scavenger who has apparently lived on the planet for several years...who talks like William Shatner...and looks like William Shatner.
Inexplicably, the seasoned scavenger falls prey to a Predator by being loud...and the bad set pieces continue....until one of the most badass moments of badassery in film history happens. The Yakuza ends up with a Samurai sword and fights a Predator. Yes, Samurai Vs. Predator. I don't care what any of you say, the image of a Japanese guy with a Samurai sword facing off against a Predator is one of the most incredibly awesome things I have ever seen. Was the fight memorable? No. Was the movie memorable? Not particularly....but that fight was just too cheesy cool for words.
After that, it was a haze of images and gunfire 'til Royce (who turns out to be a Mercenary, and conveniently grows a heart to save the hot Spanish chick) covers himself in mud and defeats the final Predator. Most of the time I just couldn't stop staring at Brody's nose...it was amazing...it was firing weapons, speaking dialogue...doing everything a normal nose can't.
So, to sum up "Predators" in a few lines: It was "The Most Dangerous Game" with Predators and Adrien Brody's nose-with a cameo by Laurence Fishburne doing a William Shatner impression, followed by a Samurai fighting a Predator.
It was an excellent bad movie.
What do you expect from a Director named Nimrod Antal?
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