DETOX

This geek Dad has gone to extremes in the past few months. I have gone form being a fairly independent and self aware person who was not a father, to a dribbling insecure non-sensical person who is a father. That all has to change at some point, and earlier I had posted that I am trying to change my geek outlook on life.

Well friends, the main issue that I have danced around for several months finally came up and slapped me and my wife in the face: my compulsion (possibly addiction) to playing video games. I know, I know....John quitting gaming?!? *GASP* Before you all freak out...it is more of a moratorium on gaming until this November. I really have to find other things to focus on, such as my family. Let's just say that gaming became a very big budgetary issue, and quite frankly...my family needs a budget. We HAVE to provide for a new little one, and I was doing my best to try and preserve my wants and...well wants, while not contributing to any other needs that this family has.

So what steps have I taken?

1.) I no longer own an Xbox 360. I pawned it. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. As if to underscore my mood and sadness, as I was pawning my Xbox, a thunderstorm formed overhead and torrential rain fell for the time I was inside the building pawning the damn thing. As I emerged from the mall, what greeted me was roiling clouds and a clap of thunder mixed with the sweet smell of freshly fallen rain and P.F. Chang's. I think that is very poetic--in a new outlook on gaming sort of way.

2.) I pawned (almost) all of my games along with my console. I kept a few (Red Dead Redemption being one of them) so I can possibly play in the future.

3.) I have to find something to replace the hole (and yes it is a hole) that gaming has made in me. I used to look for any opportunity to turn on that damn box and play...going so far as to stay up past everyone's bedtime to play into the wee hours of the morning. So...since I have weight issues as well as slight rage issues (I get angry really REALLY easily...you wouldn't like me when I am angry); I have decided to take some form of martial arts. It will force me to focus on something, and it will be a structured environment that I can work with other people in so that I can become more healthy and mentally centered.

Thus the Detox has begun. I have allowed myself a few concessions: WE still have a PS3 in the house, so I will allow myself to play games that I already have...which amount to the two Uncharted games and MLB the show 09....but I am not allowed to purchase any games until November. I have also canceled my gamefly account....and Netflix....so I will be forced to find a way to entertain myself to some degree. Perhaps I can help out with a certain pod cast more now.....

DETOX.